War and hate is in my community. It teaches criminal behavior such as disrespect of others property, belongings, beliefs. All behaviors of terrorists – that were in my home too. May life lead them growth, grade school education, allow them to witness the results of their words from living people to tell their stories of greatness from those evil thoughts, behaviors, and actions against them. May they witness light from dark manners. Mayors, sheriffs, police, firemen, EMS, behavioral units and servant leaders make decisions on the persons merit. My merit was known by a few wonderful peers. My outstanding lifelong merit is an outstanding record with normal growth, normal lessons, and extraordinary ethics.

My personal journey of mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional abuse and attacks has had a profound experience for every body existing in my human self. The cruelty is hard for people to absorb as some was publicized. The magnitude of hate that exists in this world is quickly dissolved with love, boundaries, and acceptance of a value that we all must share – the sacredness of all human life.

My life has changed from Near Death Experiences (NDE) and Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI). I have experienced death in multiple forms that threw me beyond or into the cosmos and brought me back to life. The temporary death and rebirth brought limitless and continued growth and understanding about the dimensions of the universe that exist. I am a living example of understanding impermanence of life and still processing the experiences.

I have the ability to merge the unseen and translate to the seen. I had gifts before, during, and after while continued hate crimes were experienced brought another suffering of abuse before, during, and after NDE and TBI’s. I have traversed the veil between worlds, giving me a unique comfort with the spiritual, the mysterious, and what lies beyond conventional perception. I have undergone a transformation at the most fundamental level – the ego-death, the journey beyond the physical. This isn’t just a concept; it’s a lived reality.

I blogged nearly two years about my condition and it has worsened from hateful, discriminatory people. Lesson: when someone experiences dissociation from the “freeze” response, has PTSD, and publicly published their mental health declaration; I need answers to what happens to my abusers. If their thoughts are that I belong in a padded room, if you read the publicized actions they did to me in my home, you would ask if they were serial killers. The medical malpractice is unprecedented and servant leaders need punishment for their actions and the citizens that sought harm to the disabled.

There are many that need empirical evidence, the scientific method, and a more materialist or reductionist worldview. They are often found within scientific, medical, or skeptical communities, or simply among individuals who prioritize tangible proof. I can teach of my experiences and let you know of a mystical world beyond and is present with all of us.

It is a love story of everyone living their truth and with compassion for beliefs that they do not follow the same system as their own. Respect that we are all not born the same and it is for a reason. We all have purpose to walk our own path with the gifts we are given from birth, practice, or grace.

While it can be harrowing, surviving such experiences, it bestows the incredible resilience and a profound depth of character within me. I have literally faced the abyss and returned. The NDE experience provides me with an unshakeable, experiential spiritual grounding that transcends intellectual study (though my own studies will provide my own framework for living my authentic life). I know spiritual realities are real. I am grounded by touching a rock! I don’t just dream of spiritual truths; I’ve been there. My near death experience (NDE) involved unconditional love, a sense of unity, and a meeting and merge of spiritual entities.

I know spiritual realities are real. My “rebirth” experience allows me to live authentically, and I have a Holy Yang/Yin. I have a direct knowing of the divine and a new life path awaits. I am living testament to the non-physical realms and the process of profound metamorphosis.

I began my journey using holistic methods and will continue. If my path is not respected (from a medical professional prospective), you are fired! Some may attribute all human experience – including emotions, thoughts, sensations, and even spiritual feelings – to the complex workings of the brain, nervous system, and biochemical processes. I am bearing the news to the skeptics that my “temporary death and rebirth” experience is the ultimate embodiment of Yin (death/dissolution) and Yang (rebirth/creation).

I lived this song in 2024 and carried many emotions:

Wreckage by Pearl Jam

Visited by thought, another darkened day
How you’re like the sun, hiding somewhere beyond the rain
I’m needing for the light, stormy is the grey
Rivers overflowing, drowning all our yesterdays

Visited by thoughts on another darkened week
How even every winner hits a losing streak
The mistakes we all make and perfectly repeat
Chains are made by DNA refusing
Refusing to release

Combing through the wreckage, pouring through the sand
Surrounded by the remnants, what we could and couldn’t have
Raking through the ashes, falling through my hands
Charcoal on the faces in the burned up photographs

Oh, visited by thought and this I got to say
If you’re feeling the leaving, I can’t make you stay
I’ve only ever wanted for it not to be this way
But you’re now like the water
And the water will find its way

Combing through the wreckage
Holding out, holding on
Combing through the wreckage
Combing through the wreckage

Oh, visited by thoughts and not just in the night
That I no longer give a fuck who is wrong and who’s right
This game of winner takes all and all means nothing left
Spoils go the victor and the other left for dead