This article is in support of suicide awareness.

Comparing hardship, pain, and suffering can lead to negative thought cycles for yourself and others. There are so many atrocities that can happen in the world. There are refugees that have experienced war, their homeland is destroyed, their families wounded or killed. There are chronic, uncurable illnesses that get diagnosed. The cycle of life is so complex that many of us become speechless when asked to explain details about the natural cycle our Mother Earth consumes so effortlessly. We shouldn’t compare our feelings or life occurrences with another. Yes, someone’s bad day could be “perceived” as more or less than another, but that is not true. We can never invalidate the hurt someone is experiencing; never compare by judging whose struggle is greater than another. Never let anyone invalidate your journey or feelings. Hurt, pain, and hardship can be a part of the grief cycle.

Wither you are diagnosed with an illness, have childhood trauma, experienced the loss of a loved one, witnessed war or terror, were wounded from war or terror, or a boyfriend broke up with you; grief will be experienced. There is no timetable, and we carry it with us. Unfortunately, some of these changes will be long lasting while some stages are more acute than others. We should not perceive grief as a horrible thing, these are natural cycles and changes are required to move us to accepting the unexplainable or unbearable. Compassion is such an important trait we must learn to share with our brothers and sisters in this lifetime.

What recovering from grief brings is more humility and thankfulness for the moments in life. It teaches you to be present. It teaches you that we all require self-love. It teaches you to be kind and mindful of your actions, words, and behaviors. It teaches you that you need less material world and more community; world peace.

If all you have left to wear is a backpack full of clothes, you are thankful you have a pair of clothes to wear. If your home is destroyed, you are thankful for shelter. If all you have left is a photograph, you are thankful for the memory. Your feelings being validated matters. A helping hand from another person matters. Hugging a loved one, talking to a friend, and the kindness of support groups or people that take action to assist during dire times can save a life.

Grief opens your eyes to know that everything in life has a beginning and an end. It brings prospective to whom and what has value. You must accept this natural cycle to cope or move forward from the “lesson”, “experience”, “diagnosis”, “loss” etc. it brings wisdom, joy, maturity, relief, and happiness. It teaches us empathy and to live with more awareness of our families, communities, and loved ones.

I am a suicidal thought survivor. Good Grief!

I remember living in the past, refusing to move forward. I remember drowning my pain and sorrow in alcohol. I remember seeing my body deteriorate while not being able to look myself in the mirror. When I grieved every loss and achieved acceptance, I came out of my grief cycle to a new beginning, to a new outlook, to a stronger me. Old habits were released, and new healthier habits were formed. I had more determination each time. I made an achievable plan to recover. I followed all the prescribed steps. I never stopped working on myself. I talked the talk and walked the walk.

My resilience began to fade. Good Grief! I had overcome so much. These thoughts have never happened before. I had changed like a butterfly, over and over again. I had conquered my to-do lists, I had paid off my home in 18 years, I quit drinking alcohol, I had achieved my goals that I had set yearly, I continued to provide for myself and work diligently in my professional life, I had found peace, I had trained a wonderful pet.

The one thing I had not learned was to ask for help and admit that I have limitations in life. A common pattern for people that have experienced significant trauma is to not ask for help as we tackle most areas of life on our own. Unfortunately, I had historically surrounded myself with people who wanted more from me than for me.

My support group had their own crisis’s. I was on my own to take action. I packed my hospital bag; I drove my dog to the veterinarian and informed them I had no idea when I would be back. Nothing else mattered during those moments than getting help. I self-admitted. I saved my own life.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was shaking and had nervous fidgets. The moment we are struck with grief, the fight or flight response is activated, and our bodies can experience for days, weeks, months, or even years. When we tell our friends and family to be kind, you never know what someone is going through. You don’t. I survived. I am not weak for that thought popping into my head, I am strong by telling someone and seeking hospitalization.

I have disabilities and I have limitations that I will overcome with the proper care. I am powerful, I am brave, I gave myself self-care. I am alive by taking action to care for my weakened mind, body, and spirit during that difficult timeframe. Repeat, I sought and asked for help. I am a superhero.

My future has more planned activities than ever before. I am confident my transformation will be of superior quality. I will take each day one minute at a time and focus on being present. Grief is a powerful component of life that allows you to blossom through phases of your life from childhood to adulthood; from experience to experience. You accept the things that you cannot change and make the most of every day. I am confident I am initiating the right services and support to cope with life’s challenges.

Please call 988 if you experience suicidal thoughts or contact your local hospital for immediate assistance. Time is of the essence.

I have included a few songs that resonated with me through this experience.