I do not know the proper way to send respect to an indigenous therapist or his tribe. I would appreciate some feedback if someone knew the answer. He has been an excellent addition to my support group and is a trusted mentor and therapist who has seen my physical, emotional, spiritual, and overall soul journey. He is the one person who knows me wholly.

Nearly fourteen years ago I walked into his office to discuss being diagnosed with multiple illnesses at the same time. I must confess, I was angry. I was beyond angry, I was in denial, confused, broken, traumatized, I had lost my faith and determined that there was no God, that there were no decent people left on this earth. It was doom and gloom speak and my self care did not exist because I was in pain and had no healthy coping skills. Those sessions were dark. I would attend sporadically, then I decided to return nearly 4-6 years later on a weekly or biweekly basis.

He never imposed his beliefs on me, but I did begin to ask questions about the Universe and his culture. I will restate that he is highly ethical and respectful and provided guidance on finding my own teachers and mentors in the community to explore my questions. He would educate and lead with just enough information for self-exploration. I think sometimes I returned with a surprising list of questions! I wish I knew more about how he lived and his culture because I love to hear the stories.

I read up on two-spirited people, the masculine and feminine energy, the Hopi prophecy, the earth and its healing properties, how water is holy, how this land is a gift, and how there are unexplainable events that can happen to people and why does everything we experience in life have to have a diagnosis code?

Diagnosis codes were very hard for me to accept. It made me doubt if anyone on this earth would love me wholly knowing I had disabilities. When I am healthy, I have my mental mindset controlled and I’m intact. During the breaks or episodes, I am fighting for my survival one min, hour, day at a time. The cycle is heartbreaking for your loved ones. It’s heartbreaking for you.

Will I be financially stable, will my job support me, will people think I’m “crazy”, will someone take the time to respect all of me, did I lose the respect or trust of someone? Will I love myself enough to know that self love is more important than a new love? What actions did I take during the episode timeframe that would change my future course in this lifetime? What were the “triggering” aspects and will people be caring enough to discuss these areas and allow me time to work through the trauma areas?

This is why you have a therapist. This is why you cultivate a support group. This is when you learn that you never lose anything in life, you transition into someone different if you focus on self healing and finding inner peace. It doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to, and it does surprisingly guide you into new course directions. That journey has looked like several wild rollercoaster rides for me, and the group tells me to hang on for the ride, we love you, we are here for you, you can do this!

A few years ago, I informed him that I discovered I am a believer of God or higher power. This time, it was a different belief than my hometown culture. I began embracing pieces of truths held by differing belief systems, some may call this Omnism. I knew the events that led me to believe in no God, I knew the events that led me back to believing in a God of the Universe. I believe I was born in Christ’s consciousness but there is a spiritual aspect to life that was never discussed from my upbringing. I believe everything on this earth has a spirit, a topic I can discuss with Native Americans.

I have wild Texas Sage planted in my yard and will forever be a reminder of his impact. I have reached another transition phase and will be extending my wellness plan with additional services. Our time will be less now, but I know my journey is headed in a higher direction. I know he will always be there for me if I need to talk. He is a part of my soul family. I am thankful and grateful for our time together.