It has been a difficult two and a half years. It is just days after a milestone birthday, and I have returned home from a visit with a Rev. Zen Buddhist to plan my funeral. Thankfully, she accepted the request for an Omnist. I have experienced traumatic injuries. I have faced discrimination. I have dealt with matters of death of the body. It was time to make my wishes known and planned for myself and my loved ones.

We elaborated on my Christian background. I shared my beliefs in Dharma and Karma and my Native American practices. I am also pursuing further education on Hinduism, Judaism, Tibetan Buddhism, and Taoism. Additionally, I am exploring overall spiritual evolution. She was kind enough to offer education on Zen Buddhism and the formal process of transcendence after death. It is a sad, emotional day, yet I am relieved that I have a path for my life after birth. I am thankful she respected my multiple viewpoints on religion and spirituality; as I will honor and respect hers.

Today marks a milestone in that my cognition is getting better. I am able to walk more appropriately without chronic pain; the plan and path for healing is slow but progressive. Career and abundance will come with the growth of the new me.

The brain and body are fascinating. We discussed how my automatic writing increased after injury and I’m seeking further education on Sanskrit, Hebrew, and Arabic. This was my only form or means of communicating for some of 2024. I was often nonverbal, and dysphasia prevented speech or octave changes in vocal chords.

Traumas surfaced after injury that was not only embarrassing but devastating to recall during the midst of anger and trying to accept the current condition of my body. She discussed my anger and has hopes it will transform to a means of love or providing love to others. I failed to mention my stunted growth on receiving and accepting love from others.

Just like the movies, I screamed my anger in therapy to the curb of the building. My wishes for those that harmed me was enough for an Orange and Black episode. It actually hurts your body to relieve that pain vocally. The good news is I released decades of internal pain in about 45 min. I don’t know when I will overcome the anger challenge. Many of these issues began with people who have the reading and writing level of a first grader. It is hard to conceive that people were taught hate and behaviors to harm another being.

I am upset. There are people I remember from 2022 and 2023. These people were impactful to me. They never had the opportunity to meet the person I was before hate haunted me for a couple of years. The last time I truly felt alive was during 2020-2021. I am angry about how much rehabilitation I will need from a few moments of immaturity, inexperience, and others’ discrimination. There is grief, the old me is gone. I died. There are some that I never got to express my goodbyes or even cared to know or believe that hate crimes had entered my life.

Buddhism has a beautiful philosophy on allowing the body to transcend after death. I expressed my wishes to leave this life in peace and with the comfort of loved ones. I pray my journey opens my life to new friends and new places. With every challenge, I will pray for bountifulness.

Amen. To the four directions, seven directions, ten directions.