Several years ago, I called my friend in New York. The topic was dating in general and then dating with disabilities. As a New Yorker, she always has experience with topics such as these.

We discussed the drama with people in circles that share partners with jealousy within the group or have relations for the simple purpose of getting a quick fix to a need. Some people move fast and use as a means for fulfilling the climax instead of building a bond. There are many that would never want a single partner in their life. Many combinations here; to each their own.

Fear of leaving a circle or understanding a codependency-less new beginning can be difficult. The result is releasing the comfort of one-night stands or common patterns of partners; therefore, taking a chance on something new. The new beginning means releasing the bonds of behavioral patterns and picking a person to supply and grow in your needs together.

As I spent most of my days working and not socializing, I removed codependences and found solitude and peace alone. I had already come to the conclusion that being single is not a bad option, but love, touch, and intimacy is needed in everyone’s life.

My deeply caring friend discussed the complexities of having a relationship with a person that has PTSD blackouts. It can be difficult to witness or understand. I am over the embarrassment except with a select few that I owe respects to the universe. As my friend knows, no response or connection is usually their answer, but I fulfil my respects where they belong and leave the rest up to the universe to resolve. My condition will be managed, requires rehabilitation time, and asking someone on a date is out of the picture for a while.

There are highly sensitive and intuitive people on the planet; unknowingly or knowingly submitting themselves to darkness, responsibilities, or lifestyle that exacerbate their own abilities to stay healthy. Like many of us who take pride in work, we forget that time is something that we are in control of how we spend. Hootie and the Blowfish, “Time”, is my soul song for 2023-2025. I’ve been living in survival mode; having horrific relapses from an injury and stressors.

I have no experience with dating. I asked a person out for my first time in 2023. I was not given the time of day. I’ll have to gain experience in that department. It all works out for a reason; my health has been an issue for a few years now. I never thought I would have a traumatic injury further disabling my mind and body. Now I know there will need to be a special person to find beauty in my rehabilitated condition.

It is all just poetry for me. I had one ending and waiting for a new beginning. Maybe in another time or dimension, I will find someone that argues about the healthy food in the pantry and refrigerator, argue over having Ethiopian food or Thai food.

Maybe they dance with me in the living room and share in my love of music.

Maybe their beat, rhythm, and love of life will be a song to my mind, body, and soul. Maybe they will throw their body across me for a morning love word or kiss before starting their day; go to the jewelry store and decide on rose gold and opal or titanium and diamond. Maybe they will smell divine like the essential oils that brighten my day. Maybe someone’s Fifty Shades of Grey thoughts could be shared with just me. Maybe, just maybe; it’s all poetry.

Everyone has drama, disabilities, or quirks of some form; my insecurity about my own problems is diminishing as I understand more about other people’s drama. Maybe one day my poetry will be love for someone. I am not seeking a one-night stand but someone willing to at least take a test drive. I seek someone who respects that spirituality is a part of sexuality. Someone that understands intimacy takes time and patience. Somone who desires the breath with a partner to bring passion and light.